Build Date: Wed Nov 29 05:40:20 2023 UTC
There are half-eaten animals lying on the sidewalks!
-- Head Freezin' Gene
The Night I Met the President
2006-12-27 14:10:12
It was late at night on September 4, 1975 and my mom woke me up. "We're going to go see the President" she said.
We drove a few miles out to McClellan Air Force Base. I think it was after midnight when we got there. My mom flashed her military ID and we drove onto the base and out to the flight line. Some MP's waved us out onto the tarmac. There was a velvet rope line stretched between short poles that a crowd of about a hundred people stood behind, five deep. I wiggled my way through the crowd towards the rope but couldn't quite get to the front.
Air Force One landed and a walkway rolled out to the plane. The door opened, and down the steps walked President Gerald R. Ford and Governor Jerry Brown. President Ford looked a bit tired but Governor Brown had a bounce in his step as they worked the rope line.
As they reached my position I could see them both very clearly but my way was blocked by two blonde women who looked like fashion models. President Ford was almost past when I heard my mom yell from behind "How about a handshake for this little guy?" and she pushed me forward. Ford looked down and reached through the crowd to shake my hand. "Hi Red!" he said with a warm smile and suddenly he didn't look tired at all. Then he was off again.
Governor Brown shook my hand, smiled, and mussed my hair. Then the two of them got into a waiting limousine with some other people and sped away to the Governor's mansion.
That was the night I got to meet the President.
Rest in peace President Ford. Rest in peace.
T O P S T O R I E S
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
How much force does it take to pull out nose hair?
Have you ever pulled out a nose hair and felt like part of your brain came with it? Have your eyes watered from the extreme pain? Did you wonder how much force it took? Would you pull out 50 more hairs afterwards, using precise measuring instruments, to determine the answer IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE? (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)