Build Date: Thu Jun 12 10:20:16 2025 UTC
Quit quipping at me. You're just mad because I reduced you to gurgling epithets in the aliens debate.
-- Ratsnatcher
The Night I Met the President
2006-12-27 14:10:12
It was late at night on September 4, 1975 and my mom woke me up. "We're going to go see the President" she said.
We drove a few miles out to McClellan Air Force Base. I think it was after midnight when we got there. My mom flashed her military ID and we drove onto the base and out to the flight line. Some MP's waved us out onto the tarmac. There was a velvet rope line stretched between short poles that a crowd of about a hundred people stood behind, five deep. I wiggled my way through the crowd towards the rope but couldn't quite get to the front.
Air Force One landed and a walkway rolled out to the plane. The door opened, and down the steps walked President Gerald R. Ford and Governor Jerry Brown. President Ford looked a bit tired but Governor Brown had a bounce in his step as they worked the rope line.
As they reached my position I could see them both very clearly but my way was blocked by two blonde women who looked like fashion models. President Ford was almost past when I heard my mom yell from behind "How about a handshake for this little guy?" and she pushed me forward. Ford looked down and reached through the crowd to shake my hand. "Hi Red!" he said with a warm smile and suddenly he didn't look tired at all. Then he was off again.
Governor Brown shook my hand, smiled, and mussed my hair. Then the two of them got into a waiting limousine with some other people and sped away to the Governor's mansion.
That was the night I got to meet the President.
Rest in peace President Ford. Rest in peace.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
