Build Date: Mon Mar 30 16:40:10 2026 UTC
I luv Barcelona almost as much as I love beer.
-- Negative Nancy
You Are Being Eaten By Invisible Vampires
2002-10-12 12:53:24
So, anyways, did I mention that I learned toki pona? I learned toki pona. And as much as I loathe the vapid philosophy behind the tokipona.org Web site, I gotta say: I'm glad they have a link to whywork.org.
I hate working. Hate it. Hate being told what to do, hate being on the hamster wheel of work-spend-work-spend, hate the stress, hate tying up my inner well-being with somebody's idea of what's good for some faceless and loathesome corporation. I hate working.
I don't believe in the power of work to make you a better individual. I have been "in the work force" for, gawd, almost 15 years, and it hasn't made me any better. I am just as bad a person today as when I got my first high-school job. Work has not improved me one tiny bit.
Work does not help my self-exteem, either. I feel like parboiled shitburgers after a day of working. I don't feel like a happy member of the Burger King team. I feel like I got run over by a lard truck. I have a lot of things in my life that I'm proud of, but most of them involve drug and alcohol binges, sex, driving recklessly and being a smart-ass. The ones that involve work are fleeting and minor.
So, anyways, work is stupid, boring, and wrong. There's obviously enough money and stuff in the world that we should all be able to live like KINGS and go to work once a week, maybe, do our time a bit and then go home and have great monkey sex and eat ice cream. I really believe this. The fact that we all still live like disposable soot-faced 19th-century factory children is abominable.
But I have a hard time expressing these things. I dunno. Nobody believes me when I say that we should have an economy BEYOND WORK, probably because I'm lazy, contrary, and unemployed. And it's not the American Way, after all. Work is what we do. Work is what makes you valuable in this world.
So I was kind of glad to find the link below on the toki pona Web site. whywork.org is all about telling people to QUIT FUCKING WORKING. Which is a great message. I can mine that site for excellent anti-work propaganda. You should look at it, too. Ha ha ha!

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)