Build Date: Wed May 21 09:50:19 2025 UTC
Oh crappity-crap. I spend all that time filling in all the questions, and now I guess they sent my report off to the fake email address I entered on the first page.
-- P A U L
Ninjas: The Ultimate DEADLY THING
2002-01-18 12:30:09
Top five things that make me fear and exult: 5) Amyl nitrate. 4) Car crashes. 3) Courtroom showdowns. 2) Sex in public. 1) the REAL ULTIMATE POWER of a full-on NINJA ATTACK. Suweet!
OK, so, I don't have a lot to say about this site, but I didn't want to make a teeny- weeny little short-link quicky link, because I know that most Pigdog Journal readers don't take them seriously enough. I mean, fuck, we've got the entire functionality of memepool.com right down at the bottom of our index page, EVERY DAY updated with new and interesting links, and nobody ever looks at them and/or reads them. It's SAD and DEPRESSING.
So I guess I've totally veered off the NINJA ISSUE into decrying the sad state of affairs with Pigdog Journal readers. Read the Quickies, you ass-munching losers! Don't get distracted by the flashy pictures and clever layout options at the top of the page! Think for yourself! DON'T click that picture just because it has a FOYN piece of ASS on it. DON'T LET JAKOB NIELSON be right! Style doesn't matter for shit.
OK, uh, I guess I should start rounding this article out with some conclusiatory statements of comically overstated exhortation. Which would probably require reining in this unhelpful need for woolgathering self-reference and swinging the discussion back around to the TOPIC at HAND, namely: NINJAS. With that in mind, I ask you to DIG THIS -- ninjas fucking rock, and they are funny, and you should go read about them. And that's about all I have to say. Onward, Pigdog hordes!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
