Ministry of Truth! Just like in that TV show with the cats.

     
 

Crazy Drunkard Yeltsin Ruins Kremlin
1999-08-02 21:08:31


Crazy Ivan
 
My husband has never battered me, but then again, I've never given him a reason to.
-- Montana Gov. Judy Martz, Jan. 16, 2001

 

In a feeble comeback attempt President Yeltsin has redecorated the inside of the Kremlin in a style that the director of the Art Research Institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences describes as "monstrously bad."

Yeltsin was once a builder, but any competence he might have had deserted him while building his latest vodka-soaked fantasy. Double-headed eagles sprout from "spiraling columns of gilt and marble made to sparkle." As well as restoring portraits of Peter and Catherine the Great, he has built three new rooms: the Conversation Hall, the Smoking Room and the Red and Blue Hall. Yeltsin calls this the "New Power Style," showing off as many baubles and trinkets as possible, while combining gilded splendor, Russian Orthodox styles and Tsarist elements. The end result is a little like a moldy wedding cake, but seen through the eyes of a man who regularly, viciously and maliciously attempts to murder his liver, it would make Louis XIII puke with jealousy.

It's just So DAMN BAD that an investigative magistrate in Geneva, Daniel Deveau, is subjecting Y-boy to a Criminal Investigation in which it will be revealed that Boris flagrantly and oafishly wrecked one of the world's coolest architectural gems. There is also the possibility that the whole thing's a scam to launder loads of money.

The folly's cost is an official state secret. The Swiss firm that's doing the work mumbled a figure in the hundreds of millions of dollars region, but I didn't get that confirmed. However, the last job this firm did for Boris, refurbishing Catherine the Great's Senate Palace, worked out at $13,000 per square metre. Jesus Christ! If he's got that kind of money floating around, why is he still stuck on vodka? He needs some of those South American satellite states to get him set up with coke. Those are the perks of being the leader of a nation that is absolutely fucked but still gets noticed because it has nukes. Yeltsin's a fool not to take advantage of his position.

Oliver Green and the Pro-Corruption Crew

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

vwbugger@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Eavesdropping on Geeks: Did Anyone Like 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi'?
by Lenny, Thom 'Starky' Stark, Geoffrey, Splicer, Baron, Destino

Henry Juszkiewicz Destroys Gibson Guitars
by Thom 'Starky' Stark

Does anyone care about being wrong about Appalachia?
by Baron Earl

Eavesdropping on Geeks: Music to Protest By
by Flesh, Master Squid, Baron Earl, El Destino

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

More Quickies...