Build Date: Tue May 12 22:50:11 2026 UTC
Your life is at the crossroads of pleasant ennui and sheer terror.
-- Mr. Bad
I Hate the Information Age
2003-02-04 00:24:44
I bought myself a cell phone for Christmas so that I could send private little text messages back and forth with my boyfriend. Generally I can't stand the idea of being reachable anytime, anywhere, day or night. But who am I to impede the progress of love? So, I knuckled under and took advantage of this great AT&T "Free-2-Go" Wireless and Nokia offer at my local 7-Eleven store. Now, I'm all fired up.
The original offer entailed buying the $99 phone which included $50 mail-in rebates from AT&T and 7-Eleven respectively. I was suspicious because, well, nothing is free, right? But the deal came highly recommended by a trusted friend. I would buy the phone, mail in the rebate information and just pay for the phone minutes. Voila! Free phone. It was a pretty good deal. No contracts or commitments. I was comforted in knowing that if I got real pissed off at my new shoe phone, I could toss it from a moving vehicle--no muss no fuss. I diligently assembled the necessary rebate information and mailed it the very next day. Yay. Merry Christmas to me.
Today I received an envelope from some company named Young America. It contained my original envelope, receipt, rebate form and a letter advising that my request was incomplete. I apparently neglected to include the bar-code sticker from the bottom of the box. Now, I don't remember if the original instructions asked for this information or not. I'm inclined to think that they didn't because I'm fairly detail oriented and thorough. Plus, I checked all the information twice before mailing it off.
But that's not the point. They were kind enough to allow me to resubmit my request with the admonition that my "...resubmittal will be subject to all of the original terms and conditions of the Nokia/AT&T Q4 2002 Mail-In Rebate Offer." The point is that they waited almost TWO MONTHS before notifying me of the alleged oversight: well AFTER the deadline to submit the rebate request! I mean, it's not like they didn't have my phone number. fu*kers. There is a chance that they will honor my request since the AT&T Wireless Website is currently offering the same deal. But I'm still fired up and they're still f*ckers.
What about the 7-Eleven part of the rebate, you may ask? They lamed out on the whole thing and sent me an innocuous letter enclosing a $25 prepaid refill card for calling minutes. No $50. No opportunity to re-submit my request. I hate AT&T. I hate Nokia. I hate 7-Eleven. (Well, okay, I'm extremely disappointed with 7-Eleven.) I hate the Information Age. I don't want to be in touch. I don't even like talking on the phone. Don't call me. Don't even look at me. fuck*rs.
Dog gone it! I want my $100.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
