Build Date: Tue Jul 8 07:12:44 2025 UTC
I dance in my sleep, and fly; waking, I am clumsy and earthbound.
-- Juggler Vain
Lucas isn't God
1999-01-11 15:01:00
...declares CNN movie reviewer Paul Tartara in a scathing OP-Ed in which he states that the Star Wars zealots have no right to bitch that now non-deity Lucas is going only make six of the planned nine movies in the series. The article is sure to inflame the wrath of the Faithful Followers of Han and Luke and Leia, already reeling from the news that the series is now half over.
When Noted Pigdog Editor and Star Wars aficionado, Mr. Bad, was asked to comment on Tartara piece after reading it, he was quoted as saying "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH" and "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGH". Later, Mr. Bad was found curled up in a fetal position sucking his thumb in the back corner of the Pigdog Publishing House and Y2K Survival Bunker mumbling "I can't believe it. I just can't believe Threepio and Artoo are gay and that Leia turns into an alcoholic" completely ignoring the fact the Carrie Fisher has done time at the Betty Ford Clinic for Well-heeled Overindulgers and the Threepio and Artoo are really nothing more the smallish actors inside of metal costumes.
Anyway, you can read the piece for yourself and see where Tartara completely oversteps the bounds of journalistic good tastes when he praises movies such as Tucker and then writes "(Threepio and Artoo) reappear briefly in Episode VIII: 'Not Much Happening,' during which Artoo has a torrid affair with a vacuum cleaner played by Delta Burke."
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
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A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
