Build Date: Fri Apr 4 02:30:33 2025 UTC
Who needs brain cells?
-- Bakunin
Lucas isn't God
1999-01-11 15:01:00
...declares CNN movie reviewer Paul Tartara in a scathing OP-Ed in which he states that the Star Wars zealots have no right to bitch that now non-deity Lucas is going only make six of the planned nine movies in the series. The article is sure to inflame the wrath of the Faithful Followers of Han and Luke and Leia, already reeling from the news that the series is now half over.
When Noted Pigdog Editor and Star Wars aficionado, Mr. Bad, was asked to comment on Tartara piece after reading it, he was quoted as saying "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH" and "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGH". Later, Mr. Bad was found curled up in a fetal position sucking his thumb in the back corner of the Pigdog Publishing House and Y2K Survival Bunker mumbling "I can't believe it. I just can't believe Threepio and Artoo are gay and that Leia turns into an alcoholic" completely ignoring the fact the Carrie Fisher has done time at the Betty Ford Clinic for Well-heeled Overindulgers and the Threepio and Artoo are really nothing more the smallish actors inside of metal costumes.
Anyway, you can read the piece for yourself and see where Tartara completely oversteps the bounds of journalistic good tastes when he praises movies such as Tucker and then writes "(Threepio and Artoo) reappear briefly in Episode VIII: 'Not Much Happening,' during which Artoo has a torrid affair with a vacuum cleaner played by Delta Burke."
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
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An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
