Build Date: Sun May 18 06:50:37 2025 UTC
Clinton said he tried marijuana and didn't inhale - what does that tell you? Brownies or hash cakes?
-- Bill Hicks
Is that uranium in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
2002-10-01 18:24:49
After much fanfare and hype this weekend over a container with 33 pounds of "weapons-grade uranium" found in Turkey, we now know two things: When measuring the weight of a substance, you should SUBTRACT the weight of its 32.7 pound LEAD CONTAINER, and before announcing that you have "weapons-grade uranium", you should make sure that what you have is actually uranium, and not ZINC, MANGANESE, IRON, and ZIRCONIUM.
When naturally-occurring uranium uranium ore (U3O8) is mined it contains the following percentage of uranium isotopes (+/- 0.1%):
U235 is the stuff that explodes. To make naturally-occurring uranium and turn it into "weapons-grade" uranium you have to get rid of the 99.283% U238 and the 0.005% U234 that's in the ore. In order to get 33 pounds of "weapons-grade uranium" (U235) you need to refine at least 3300 pounds of pure uranium ore. Figure that most ore contains dirt and other stuff that's no good and you end up with sifting through many tons of raw materials to get that 33 pounds of "weapons-grade uranium".
In other words, to announce to the world that you've confiscated 33 pounds of uranium could be an honest mistake -- someone taken in by a container that was faked up to look like something it was not. To go on and make the claim that you have weapons-grade uranium, which is a specific type of uranium that is extremely dangerous and requires specialized tests to verify that claim, then we're left with a few possibilities:
It's probably some combination of all of the above, which isn't a pleasant thought. If it'll make you any happier, think of a suicide bomber wasting himself and covering locals with a dusting of ZINC, MANGANESE, IRON, and ZIRCONIUM.
Oh yeah, we also learned a third thing: If you find a container labeled "primarily youranuom", you might be dealing with a poorly-crafted FAKE.
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