Build Date: Fri Oct 9 01:43:10 2026 UTC
I think we should fucking nuke Canadia. Especially the French part of Canadia.
-- Johnnie Royale
Bizarro Olympic Hijiacking Arrest
2002-02-13 11:36:39
The important bit isn't that this guy performed an act of extreme hijacking, by going to the bathroom 5 minutes later than the federal law allows. The important bit isn't that he faces up to 20 years in prison. The important thing is that he's BIZARRO!
Richard Bizarro was arrested for getting up to use the bathroom 5 minutes after the permitted time in Utah.
As far as I know, he was not quoted as saying:
"Me am just going to bathroom! Airplane laws am not restrictive enough!"
Because his name was BIZARRO! Get it? Isn't that rad?
Now, I'm not going to use some sort of paralepsis to imply that Utah has a strong trend recently of racism, especially against traditionally Catholic nationalities, and I'm certainly not going to waste your time, and mine, with stories of New Years' Eve Y2K and the government liquors of Cache Valley. I'm certainly not going to use any kind of paralepsis to imply selective enforcement of weird, Draconian laws on airplanes.
Instead, I'm going to make Super Friends references!
"Bizarro LOVES to go to prison! Bizarro am random victim!"
Apparently, this guy, who was 59, got up to go to the bathroom, and when he came back, he gave someone a thumbs-up. Which meant that the air marshalls on board ordered all passengers to put their hands on their heads for the rest of the flight!
There were three undercover air marshalls on board.
Uh, the Olympics was also involved. This is a new SLC rule, starting February 5, which forbids using the bathroom if the landing is 30 minutes away.
I wonder how long they'll put you in if you don't have your belt buckled.
But, boy howdy, I can tell you that I definitely feel safer.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
