Build Date: Tue Mar 5 14:00:06 2024 UTC

The first mistake of Art is to assume that it's serious.
-- Lester Bangs

Let Elvis Come Inside Of You

by Miss Conduct

2002-01-21 21:07:22

It's pronounced El-vii, there are 6 of them: Love Me Tender Elvis, GI Joe Elvis, 60's Rockin Elvis, Charro, 70's Come-Back Elvis, and the poor old Over The Edge Died In The Loo Elvis. But now there is another Elvis. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Extreme Elvis. I've only felt this way once before while watching what appeared to be Snuff Films with a cute bartender giving me the eye. It was a combination of wanting to hurl and being turned on at the same time.

Extreme Elvis is more like a Back From The Dead Zombie Sleaze Bag Dirty Old Fat Man Elvis. I saw Extreme Elvis at Dada Fest 2001. I didn't actually catch his act, but I did see him. Mostly around the Outdoor Smoking Lounge. He sang a little for us. He was really hammy but with an overall Elvisness. Apparently he sings really crappy renditions of Elvis tunes while stripping out of his jumpsuit. He kicks off his shoes, urinates into one and drinks it. Then he sort of jiggles around the stage nekkid.

The best thing about Extreme Elvis is this alleged letter from The Graceland Staff:

From: Graceland Staff To: Subject: Re: EXTREME ELVIS- DO YOU KNOW ABUOT THIS GUY?? Date: 5 Apr 2001 08:28:42 -0700

Dear Gaylord,

Yours is one of several messages we've recently received about Extreme Elvis. Our licensing/legal people have run across this one in their continuous observation of Elvis-related activity on the Internet. We are copying them on the messages we are getting about this.

Generally speaking, there are some aspects of impersonating Elvis (even doing grossly unflattering parodies) that fall under First Amendment rights of expression. There are also some types of activities related to impersonation that do involve trademark or copyright infringements for which we do have some legal recourse.

And there are lots of "gray areas". The whole subject is very complicated and the world is full of Elvis impersonations and parodies to have to contend with. This is a never-ending challenge. We can't get into any detailed dialogue specifcally about Extreme Elvis at this time other than to say it does have our attention. But, do know that we share your dismay and disgust and that we greatly appreciate your concern. Best wishes, The Graceland Staff

bcc: Extreme Elvis Circulation

I'll give the guy a half a point of Chicken John for the title Love Me Chicken Tenders. But that's IT. Otherwise, I too share in this dismay and disgust and I have GREAT concern for That Which I Hold Sacred And True. Extreme Elvis is purely vulgar and decadent with too much ham and not enough cheese. It is most definitely NOT Elvis. Is that splooge on Extreme Elvis' face? Awwww, MAN! No one needs to see Elvis like that.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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