Build Date: Fri Mar 1 10:00:03 2024 UTC

My problem with spontaneous human combustion is that never seems to happen to the "right" people.
-- Johnnie Royale

2000-Year-Old Vampire Enters Plea

by El Snatcher

1998-12-11 07:39:00

The latest vampire to be caught in San Francisco is now worming his way through the legal system. How many times in the last 2000 years has he been tried an convicted? Can we really take these legal antics seriously? Of course, his plea is "not guilty." The legal system can't get tough on vampires because it doesn't acknowledge that they exit!

How many homeless people have to die? Stupid vampires--nobody takes them seriously... and it fall on us, PIGDOG JOURNAL, to report these things. Did you know that most of the weird shit you see in THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS, and other bad American tabloids, comes right off of the news wires? It's true. Most outlets CHOOSE not to run these stories.

PIGDOG PROMISES TO REPORT ON VAMPIRES.

Unlike PIGDOG, most main-stream media outlets believe that if they tell you the truth, YOU JUST WONT BELIEVE IT. But they will run anything vaguely related to Monica Lewinsky... just for no good reason at all... BEWARE.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

nabob@pigdog.org

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