BUGPORN is REAL GROSS!

     
 

Tobacco Industry Sues Other Tobacco Industry
2000-02-08 12:18:26


Bad People
 
I don't translate well into meat-space.
-- Negative Nancy

 

I think no one would have bothered having a Civil War if they knew that a hundred and fifty years ago, the main cash crop of the South would be massive civil liability. Actually, I'm just babbling.

So here's how I see it, these days: every judge out there is willing to just sort of rubber stamp lawsuits against the tobacco industry. Except maybe in North Carolina, where everyone is the tobacco industry's bitch.

I mean, I saw some ads saying things like "Don't believe Tobacco Industry Lies. They'll say anything for money." And at the bottom, in not-quite-so- small print, it says that the ad was paid for by a lawsuit against the tobacco industry. Can you imagine anything so humiliating? Maybe they should force by lawsuit for all the tobacco executives to public announce that they are bad people. And they can't wear any clothes.

Anyway, so the tobacco industry has made a lot of money over the years, and has it all stored up in nice, easy bundles of billions of dollars. So it's like a big clearinghouse! Just write an essay of 100 words or less about why you are entitled to billions of dollars from the tobacco industry and you could be the next winner!

The next people lining up to sue the tobacco industry are... the tobacco industry!

Cigarette wholesalers are suing tobacco companies now, in a large class action clusterfuck, for price fixing. There will be billions of dollars involved.

Like, all cigarette wholesalers suing all tobacco manufacture companies.

Normally, you'd think that an entire segment of industry would not attempt to alienate itself from another entire segment of industry on which they're dependent. In this case, though, I'm sure they'll make more money by suing than by trying to continue business with a sinking ship.

This is what I'd calling "sacking and looting," only on a wide litigation- oriented sort of order.

Chomp chomp chomp!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

laredo@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

More Quickies...