Duck and Cover!
2000-01-14 17:37:02

Coincidence? ...Or Enemy Action?
Sid gets 10 points for accuracy and 10 for style. But I bet the French judge only gives her 8.
-- Lenny from Canadia


Scientists report a HUGE and DESTRUCTIVE BLACK HOLE only 1600 LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM EARTH. Okay, you all know what to do in case this black hole comes SCREAMING directly toward your home and family, right?

Worse yet, it is emitting a rare kind of emission of X-Ray particles called "microquasars" what have only been detected in three other places, all very distant from earth.

``Either the matter can flow into the black hole without forming an accretion disk or the black hole is significantly different in its mass, spin or charge,'' said Ronald Remmillard of MIT.

What he means, of course, is that the black hole is a brutal killer that ruins families, careers, and hopes.

What to do if a black hole comes within 1600 miles of Earth emitting rare X- rays:

1. Don't let the black hole into your home, no matter how harmless it seems.

2. Don't make eye contact with the black hole or talk to it directly. among black holes, this is considered a challenge for dominance, and you might incite an attack from the black hole.

3. If the black hole gets very close, dilate time and linear distances.

4. Write pigdog telling us about your experiences within a black hole! You can send your time-and-linear-distance-dilated emails to barfback@pigdog.org

5. Keep informed...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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