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Let me make myself as perfectly clear as freshly-blown
glass: Gary North is a con artist with a evil black vulture
soul that feeds on the brain cells of humanity that have
been killed off by ignorance. And in just a few days, he
will be exposed for the slick huckster that he is.
If you have not heard of Mr. North let me give you a quick run-down. For many
years, Gary North, a member of a Christian cult who wishes to bring about the
end of western civilization, has been making scare-tactic predictions about end
of the world. These range from AIDS becoming the next black plague, to a
nuclear war with Russia that would send everyone back to the Stone Age (except
he and his fellow followers).
In the past few years, after all of his other predictions of doom and gloom
(that would make Ozzy Osbourne's Black Sabbath-era lyrics seems like The
Backstreet Boys wrote them) have failed. Gary happened upon a book written by
computer programmer Ed Yourton, in which he warned of dire consequences unless
the Y2K bug was addressed.
Gary North saw this as a way to make money off of the uninformed, by scaring
them into buying his very expensive newsletter (more than $200 for just 24
issues). Starting with things like 70's-era gas lines, supply trucks that won't
deliver necessary goods, crashing world wide stock markets, and backing it all
up with vague references and quotations from reputable and credible programming
pioneers, and even you can seem like a computer glitch guru if you get in early
enough in the game.
At the time of this writing, there are only three days left until the clocks
turn over to Jan. 1, 2000. And to date, I have yet to see any gas lines
stretching for blocks or computer programmers running for the hills like packs
of panicked beasts. People aren't making bank runs, and the various stock
markets haven't collapsed as of yet. For the past week North has been rather
quiet. I speculate that he and his inner circle are currently locked away in
the isolated North compound. The food supplies are stocked, the water supplies
and filters are all in place, the booby traps have been activated, and they are
armed to the teeth with enough small firepower to fend off an army of starving
Huns. There's also the possibility that he's already left the country and is on
his private island, watching the sunset as he is served chilled margaritas by a
loyal collection of child-servants freshly imported from Venezuela. In both
cases, he has Manson-esqe dreams of returning to a world where he'll be
welcomed as their new leader and mentor.
If he's wise, he'll stay where he is for at least six months. Longer if he
values his life. Because if he shows up any sooner, the people that took his
advice, and gave him their money will tear him apart like a pack of hyenas on a
wounded gazelle.
But don't think for a moment that this will be the last we'll be hearing from
Gary North. As any street-level hustler will attest to, you can't keep a good
shill down. Gary will be back by May or June, with a newly calibrated pitch of
how the world will be ending shortly.
In the meantime, take a walk through his web site. Savor all the splendor of a
modern-day madman who would have had his followers seal themselves up in caves
with rocks & mortar a thousand years ago. Who knows, perhaps he may finally
lose the edge, and attempt to explain why his predictions have all failed to
pass.
Check it out yourself
dunsmuir@pigdog.org
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