Build Date: Sat Oct 25 12:00:31 2025 UTC
I took a Career Guidance test in high school. I checked off that I hated everything, but that working outside was tolerable. The computer software suggested that I become a Postal Carrier.
-- Baron Earl
Coincidence? ...Or Enemy Action?
Pigdog Journal Articles
2017-11-10
Shithole. If you cleaned it up some. Ness had been in worse though. He coughed—something cool and thick rose into the back of his mouth and he spat reflexively. A scurrilous wad of mucus tinged with blood landed heavily with a wet unsavory sonance to lie like a stillborn slug. The cough was accompanied by a searing pain in his chest, but the intimation of the mortality bearing down on him left no mark upon him. The viscid love letter from the cancer in his lungs quivered briefly and then was still. It seemed at home there among the refused and casually discarded constituency of debris. Shithole.
2006-10-20
The CIA are not the good guys.
2004-06-20
According to an article in the New Catholic Times, the Pope thinks that George W. Bush may be the Antichrist as depicted in the Book of Revelations.
2002-05-03
This is an urgent Pigdog advisory to all loyal viewers. Please quit bathing, now. Thank you.
2002-04-19
Some toy company is now making George Bush and Osama Bin Laden action figures. I wonder if Big George gets to drive around in a special Camping Wagon with his best pal Big Tony, and then decapitate a rogue beaver with his chainsaw, like I used to make Big Jim do?
2000-09-01
Geronimo's skull was stolen by George Bush's father. An Apache chief, seeking to return the warrior's remains to an Arizona reservation, received a tip from a mole in the secret society.
2000-01-14
Scientists report a HUGE and DESTRUCTIVE BLACK HOLE only 1600 LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM EARTH. Okay, you all know what to do in case this black hole comes SCREAMING directly toward your home and family, right?
2000-01-12
Who is giving the Russian Space Agency 20 million to keep Mir going? And what do they intend to with Emperor Norton's DNA?
1999-11-05
On August 7, 1999, President Clinton issued an Executive Order establishing a Working Group on Unlawful Conduct on the Internet. The Group would prepare recommendations about the need for "new technology tools, capabilities or legal authorities" to successfully prosecute violations of the law, including the illegal sale of guns, explosives, controlled substances and prescription drugs, as well as fraud and child pornography.
1999-11-02
Friday, November 5 is Guy Fawkes Day! Crazy! Go out NOW and burn this crazy 17th-century anarchist in EFFIGY!
1999-11-01
The whole Falun Gong story just really inspires me. I mean it. Here's this religion, that stresses like slow exercise and meditation, and the government is TOTALLY CRACKING DOWN ON IT. I mean, it's like these Falun Gong people do these exercises, and it's SO EFFECTIVE at making people happy and healthy that the OPPRESSIVE CHINESE GOVERNMENT has to ban it to keep people from being healthy enough to shrug off their regime.
1999-09-20
Who says Denmark is a cute little country? A cute little country that breeds terrorists?? Huh? Okay, well not really. Actually this is just a case of Americans being dumb again. Sigh.
1999-08-05
There is buzz right now that "The Blair Witch Project" may have been heavily influenced by an earlier independent film called "The Last Broadcast." But could it be that BOTH movies took a page from a weird alien-abduction HOAX television special that ran on UPN in early 1998?
1999-05-26
"Barry Manilow recovering from mouth surgery." That's all there is to the story, I guess. He had something wrong with his mouth, but now he's doing better.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2006-03-14
An FBI informant testified Monday in a federal terrorism trial that Osama bin Laden's chief deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, spent time in Lodi in 1998 and 1999 and frequented the community's mosque, a claim that a defense attorney described as outlandish.
2002-12-17
2002-02-27
Inebriated lad losses battle with giant wad of dough.
2001-09-29
2001-03-15
2001-02-02
2000-09-20
2000-07-28
2000-07-17
2000-07-17
2000-04-14
2000-01-29
2000-01-26
1999-12-31
You could probably count the number of these .int domains used on one hand.
1999-06-29
1999-06-11
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
