Build Date: Wed Apr 17 00:30:17 2024 UTC

You know, I really feel bad for you Mac people. Sort of. I mean, it was your choice.
-- Tjames Madison

Broad View

Watch out people, Miss Conduct is here to lay down the law and tell you how to behave in the post, post, post modern whirled. So shut up and listen or you'll find her boot on your neck.

Miss Conduct views it all from a broad's perspective.

Pigdog Journal Articles


One From the Ladies Room
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. -- Miss Conduct


Now With More War
This thing passed through my inbox today and it got me to thinking: I wonder what would happen if we all forgot to pay our taxes... -- Miss Conduct


Shake It, But Don't Break It
Many kind readers have expressed a curiousity in what, exactly, boomshakalicious means. It is difficult to describe, but I'll try. It is so much more than just a word. It defines a certain Je Ne C'est Quoi or pizazz. It is a feeling, an attitude, a way of life. It's the thing that makes you dance to James Brown. -- Miss Conduct


Unattended Article
The War on Terrorism is a success! I witnessed this Anti-Terrorism first hand last weekend on my way to an International Toy Distribution Convention. The Airline Industry Security Measures have virtually wiped out terrorism. There is just one minor drawback, you must fly nude. -- Miss Conduct


Labels Are for Clothes
Have you ever sat around a campfire enjoying some edifying cock talk with a couple of friends when someone starts to eavesdrop? You look in their direction and notice they are interested in your conversation. Decorum dictates that you introduce yourself and your friends. Next thing you know this social interloper is beckoning you with a beleaguered "What did they say?" at each conversational volley. "They said PROSTATE," you bellow. The stranger decides that paying attention to the conversation at large is too laborious, so they focus on you. And there is no better ice breaker in their arsenal than the question, "So what are you: gay, straight or bi?" -- Miss Conduct


Destruction Makes Me Horny
Hello, my name is Miss Conduct and I've been very, very bad. A terribly sick and disturbed part of me gets really excited when skyscrapers fall. It makes me feel dirty. -- Miss Conduct

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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