Build Date: Tue Jul 14 22:50:06 2026 UTC
Never trust a man in a blue trenchcoat; never drive a car when you're dead.
-- Tom Waits
Fun-Loving Aussies Deliver Another Blow to Equality
1999-12-01 01:17:57
Australia - traditionally a strong competitor for the UN's annual "It's a Man's Man's Man's Man's Man's Man's World" prize - has once again demonstrated the level of sensitivity and equality that make the remote island a prime spot for all-male drumming circles, "Iron John" fan club meetings and group rate wife beater conventions/getaway weekends.
It was only a couple of years ago that the Aussie sporting powers-that-be dressed up the Olympic women's basketball team in tight-fitting catsuits. Now these same powers have produced a nude calendar featuring members of the Australian national women's soccer team, playfully nicknamed "the Matildas."
The calendar features "tasteful" photos, according to Australian Women's Soccer Association president Shirley Brown, who also admitted that women's sport is "still considered second rate in Australia."
Some of the tasteful photos in the calendar include full-frontal nudity with two teammates posing together in a manner suggesting mild lesbian ticklefests are just around the next corner. "I'm really proud of the photos," said Matildas' player Alicia Ferguson.
Unsurprisingly, experts estimate that only 11 people - all female - in Australia find the calendar to be in poor taste.

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