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Horrible Club Threatened with Closure
1999-08-04 19:19:13

Viva La Musica
I've got some bad news for non-smokers: Non-smokers die every day.
-- Bill Hicks


So, I really don't like this 1015 Folsom club here in San Francisco all that much. It's real gross with lots of muscleheads and big-hair suburbanites and stuff. But, well, you should help keep them from getting shut down.

I've only been to this club a couple of times, and I really hated it both times. One time the people I was with ditched me on the dance floor and ran away to some other club completely. The place was so packed with creepy bridge- and-tunnel types and beefy guys with backwards baseball caps and cell phones and etc. that I couldn't tell that my friends weren't there. Until, like, later.

BUT, and this is a big but, BUUUUTTTTT, I still signed the petition on this site to keep 1015 Folsom from shutting down. Why? Because I really hate the whole situation.

See, the South of Market area in San Francisco ("SoMa" -- get it?) is full of two things: 1) creepy nightclubs that gross Silicon Valley people come to in order to cut loose and 2) creepy live-work lofts that gross Silicon Valley people come to in order to live. Oh, and I guess 3) the bad Internet start-ups that gross Silicon Valley people come to in order to work, but they don't factor into this equation, so ignore those. Forget I said that. We just have 1) and 2) [not 3)] for the purposes of this discussion.

Anyways, the people in the lofts want the people in the clubs to go away. Like, WAY FAR away, like maybe it would be good if they fell off a cliff somewhere. They want to make SoMa safe for their stupid really-expensive lofts and dumb cafes and big dumb BMWs and things like that. Having Bad People getting all boozed up and dancing everywhere does not fit in their idea of a real nice place to live. So if they have their way, there will be no BOOZE or TECHNO MUSIC or BAD PEOPLE WHATSOEVER in the South of Market area! And maybe never in San Francisco!

I find this unconscionable.

So, the Loft People are trying to keep from letting this one club, 1015 Folsom, get a new Bad People Dancing and Booze Permit or whatever they call it. And the crazy freakos in City Hall are going to allow it! Augh!

So, to stop this TRAVESTY of JUSTICE, and to SUPPORT BAD PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, I advocate to you, the reader, that you go sign this crazy-ass e-petition. Hey, you don't even have to be from San Francisco or whatever. You just have to be able to fill in an HTML form. That's not so hard, is it?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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