Highway to Hell

by Flesh

2000-01-12 15:27:33

Viva La Musica

Now that we've passed into the year 2000 without the world ending, a lot of doom -preaching con-artists will find their mislead flocks dissipating. What scapegoat do you think they'll be using to bring new suckers into their clutches?

Many years ago, I had the unfortunate experience of living in one of the most bass-ackwards places on the planet, known as Great Falls, Montana. It is a place where you'll hear the phrases "Faggot Jew Banker" and "Uppity Prairie Nigger" with alarming regularity. I hated every single second I had to live in that redneck cultural cesspool. To make matters worse, the elders of my family decided that putting my butt into a private, fundamentalist, Southern Baptist school was just the thing I needed to knock the restlessness & rebellion out of me.

This particular school believed in things like

• Men should not have long hair because "someone might think you're a girl, and lust after you".
• Satan created marijuana and other drugs.
• Dancing was a sin because it led to lust.
• Rock & Roll music was a Satanic Communist plot to destroy America and its youth.

During the time I was in attendance, I was exposed to books by the likes of Jeff Godwin and the Peters Brothers, who would write highly inaccurate books attempting to prove how evil Rock & Roll really was. And for a while, some of these claims were taken seriously. The most notorious of the bunch was the infamous Judas Priest backward-masking trial in Reno, Nevada in 1986. Though after this trial no one took these theories seriously. No one, except people who cover their studio apartment windows with aluminum foil to keep out the radio beams which put evil thoughts in their heads (who in turn would actually dream up some of the better "proofs" of the evil). We now arrive at the dawn of a new millennium. These ideas and such deceitful tactics you would think would be a thing of the past. Unfortunately, they aren't. But by the same token, they have gotten more amusing; to the point of being as harmless as the guy in the park who argues with the statues. Such is the case of Dial-the-Truth Ministries. Our tinfoil hat-wearing friends out of Alabama would like you to know the following…

• The rock counterculture would be used as a weapon to destroy political movements such as the civil rights movement.
• Drugs like LSD are secretly placed in drinks like Coca-Cola, turning thousands of unsuspecting victims into raving psychotics at rock concerts.
• Record companies who today promote Satanic "heavy-metal" rock have run covert operations to destroy the musical heritage of classical composers such as Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven.
• EMI created the myth of the Beatles' great popularity
• Aliester (sic) Crowley is the spiritual teacher of rock music.
• Jimmy Page would perform Majik rituals during some of Zeppelin's concerts.
• Jim Morrison married his wife at a Wicca wedding standing in a pentagram and drinking each other's blood.
• The real purpose of the Monterey Pop Festival was the widespread distribution LSD.
• The first experimentation with LSD began in the early sixties, in the Haight-Ashbury, by a joint CIA-British intelligence task force under the code-name MK-Ultra, through a commune known as Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters.
• John Phillips, Ken Kesey and Timothy Leary were all CIA agents

It's hard to believe, but it gets weirder from there. Really.

So in the coming year, expect to see more of these types of dire warnings. After all, Tipper will probably be First Lady.

Check it out yourself

quintuplet@pigdog.org