Build Date: Tue Sep 15 09:10:33 2026 UTC
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. Because when you wake up, that's as good as you're going to feel all day.
-- Frank Sinatra
Highway to Hell
2000-01-12 15:27:33
Now that we've passed into the year 2000 without the world ending, a lot of doom -preaching con-artists will find their mislead flocks dissipating. What scapegoat do you think they'll be using to bring new suckers into their clutches?
Many years ago, I had the unfortunate experience of living in one of the most bass-ackwards places on the planet, known as Great Falls, Montana. It is a place where you'll hear the phrases "Faggot Jew Banker" and "Uppity Prairie Nigger" with alarming regularity. I hated every single second I had to live in that redneck cultural cesspool. To make matters worse, the elders of my family decided that putting my butt into a private, fundamentalist, Southern Baptist school was just the thing I needed to knock the restlessness & rebellion out of me.
This particular school believed in things like
During the time I was in attendance, I was exposed to books by the likes of Jeff Godwin and the Peters Brothers, who would write highly inaccurate books attempting to prove how evil Rock & Roll really was. And for a while, some of these claims were taken seriously. The most notorious of the bunch was the infamous Judas Priest backward-masking trial in Reno, Nevada in 1986. Though after this trial no one took these theories seriously. No one, except people who cover their studio apartment windows with aluminum foil to keep out the radio beams which put evil thoughts in their heads (who in turn would actually dream up some of the better "proofs" of the evil). We now arrive at the dawn of a new millennium. These ideas and such deceitful tactics you would think would be a thing of the past. Unfortunately, they aren't. But by the same token, they have gotten more amusing; to the point of being as harmless as the guy in the park who argues with the statues. Such is the case of Dial-the-Truth Ministries. Our tinfoil hat-wearing friends out of Alabama would like you to know the following…
It's hard to believe, but it gets weirder from there. Really.
So in the coming year, expect to see more of these types of dire warnings. After all, Tipper will probably be First Lady.

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)