Build Date: Mon Oct 5 15:02:27 2026 UTC
You're a mouth-breathing windows user.
-- Gank
Yellow Journalism Is Alive & Kicking in PA
1999-11-05 13:13:24
Everyone who participated was in agreement. The cops, the promoters, the audience, and even the people arrested. Everyone, that is, with the exception of Nicole Weisensee or the Philadelphia Daily News. But hey, why should she let the truth get in the way of some creative writing?
Here's what happened: Last weekend, a promoter decided to throw a big satanic warehouse party. The party attracted a lot of low-brows, who in turn acted with slightly less intelligence than monkeys pelting one another with their own feces. Enter onto the scene the cops. A melee involving various explosives, a lead singer screaming "Kill Them", and pipe bombs ensued.
A few minutes later, everything quieted down. Arrests were made,and implements of destruction confiscated. At this point, Nicole Weisensee stumbled onto the scene like a drunken wino that was just given a dose of Angel Dust.
Sensing a story that would play on the unfounded fears of her readers, Ms. Weisensee wrote up her story in a twisted, sensationalistic manner that would make even the Weekly World News blush. You see this wasn't just a satanic Halloween party for Cro-Magnon's, in her mind this was a RAVE. You read right, A RAVE. Now despite the fact that no rave on THE PLANET would have pipe-bombs, semi-automatics, or a live BAND who encourage the frenzied audience to rip the cops to shreds, that didn't get in the way of Nicole. She wants people to believe that these events are filled with sex-crazed people from Mississippi who want to feed kids drugs, have their way with them sexually, kill them, and eat their corpses.
We would like to suggest that Ms. Weisensee immediately resign her position, and freelance her talents of fear-mongering to either The National Enquirer or write scripts for professional wrestling, where she will be far more appreciated.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
The Man is putting the hurting on San Francisco clubs, but some people are fighting back. Beajolais! Flesh interviews Leslie Ayers of the San Francisco Late Night Coalition. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
