Build Date: Mon Sep 7 18:50:08 2026 UTC
Btw, I'm stinkin' drunk, and its great!! YEHAW!
-- Ms. Bunnypenny
Happy Birthday Bill
1999-12-16 11:59:45
Today marks the birth date of the late great Bill Hicks. Had he lived, he would have been 38. To mark this occasion Hicks' partner-in-crime, Kevin Booth has paid tribute to his fallen friend, with a broadcast of the set that made David Letterman cower in fear.
Shortly before he shuffled off this mortal coil, Bill Hicks did his twelfth appearance on David Letterman's show, with a set that left the audience in tears of laughter, and a better understanding of how the world is. Later that day, Hicks received a call from one of David's flunkies. He explained that when the show moved to CBS, part of the requirement of the transfer was that Dave and his entire staff would have to snip off their balls, and personally feed them to a bunch of rednecks. And while it was Letterman's show, it was Westinghouse's network. After the Starchamber viewed Hick's material, three Mongolian enforcers were dispatched to Dave's office to make sure that their prized neutered corporate lapdog was still loyal.
In the end, Hicks' monologue was cut, and Dave made a few more bucks happily swallowing down three servings of Mongolian Salty White Oyster Surprise. So tune in and hear Bill's banned set, along with his appearance on Howard Stern's radio show. You'll never be able to watch Letterman the same way again (if at all).
Report filed from the desk of Arizona Bay Lifeguard Station 1

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)