Build Date: Sat Apr 18 18:50:09 2026 UTC
I really should drink more, but I just don't have the energy...
-- Johnnie Royale
Happy Birthday Bill
1999-12-16 11:59:45
Today marks the birth date of the late great Bill Hicks. Had he lived, he would have been 38. To mark this occasion Hicks' partner-in-crime, Kevin Booth has paid tribute to his fallen friend, with a broadcast of the set that made David Letterman cower in fear.
Shortly before he shuffled off this mortal coil, Bill Hicks did his twelfth appearance on David Letterman's show, with a set that left the audience in tears of laughter, and a better understanding of how the world is. Later that day, Hicks received a call from one of David's flunkies. He explained that when the show moved to CBS, part of the requirement of the transfer was that Dave and his entire staff would have to snip off their balls, and personally feed them to a bunch of rednecks. And while it was Letterman's show, it was Westinghouse's network. After the Starchamber viewed Hick's material, three Mongolian enforcers were dispatched to Dave's office to make sure that their prized neutered corporate lapdog was still loyal.
In the end, Hicks' monologue was cut, and Dave made a few more bucks happily swallowing down three servings of Mongolian Salty White Oyster Surprise. So tune in and hear Bill's banned set, along with his appearance on Howard Stern's radio show. You'll never be able to watch Letterman the same way again (if at all).
Report filed from the desk of Arizona Bay Lifeguard Station 1
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