Build Date: Sun Feb 8 12:30:09 2026 UTC
Somewhere people are plotting against you and I am probably among them.
-- Doctor Murdock
Place Your Head Here. The Jackboot Will Be Along Shortly
1999-12-13 11:54:01
If we believe the various panic groups, the world is a dangerous place to be in, and we need better protection. So dangerous, are these criminals that a system has been devised to catch criminals BEFORE they've actually committed any kind of criminal activity. Well, they now have. Welcome to the dawning of the age of thought crime.
This brand new computer system according to it's creators Steve Maybank at the University of Reading and David Hogg at the University of Leeds can "identify" car thieves, vandals, people contemplating suicide, shoplifters, muggers, and terrorists to name a few. Frankly, such technology is not only frightening, but obviously takes us one step closer to totalitarianism. Hitler would have loved this stuff!
I just hope that for the holidays, someone gives these guys copies of George Orwell's 1984. It'll make for good reading as the drag us down their slippery slope of good intentions into hell.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
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Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)
