Build Date: Wed Apr 15 01:00:12 2026 UTC
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-- Rita Rudner
Kim Rollins is (not) getting married!
2006-07-22 19:03:59
If you accidentally typed "Kim Rollins" into Google, you'd find an Amazon web page which now includes "Kim and George's wedding registry!"
The pioneering blogger (and amateur legal enthusiast) has an Amazon profile which appears to spill the beans with a cheerful wedding registry. The happy couple will be married on Kim's birthday in August, the page tells us, along with the fact that George's last name is Clooney. They've registered for a DVD of Solaris, and...
...er, perhaps we should've read the "About the Couple" paragraph first. "This is a fake registry to help test a new feature on Amazon Wedding," Kim writes.
"I disclaim that I do not actually know George Clooney, and that if he were ever to find out that I did such a thing, he would be utterly appalled and slap me with a no-contact order so fast it would make my head spin."
Oh.
Well, since we're here, we may as well round-up the lesser Kim Rollins news. Um, her Amazon wish list now includes the literary classic Stupid Sock Creatures: Making Quirky, Lovable Figures from Cast-off Socks. Uh, Kim also wrote an article about Urban Outfitters last year for some kind of web site about Seattle, but it was too long to actually read. And she occassionally writes book reviews for MSNBC. Oh, and Kim's favorite episode of Friends is "The One With Five Steaks and an Eggplant."
But I want to believe that once in a blue moon, she checks in on the web-log of her former paramour, Wil Shipley. It's tagline?
"I write software. I'm obsessive-compulsive. I like good stuff. Kittens are fuzzy."
Seattle is, apparently, not as exciting as we'd imagined.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
