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Kim Rollins is (not) getting married!
2006-07-22 19:03:59


The Rollins-Shipley Crisis
 
Don't condescend to me, frat boy.
-- Thom 'Starky' Stark

 

If you accidentally typed "Kim Rollins" into Google, you'd find an Amazon web page which now includes "Kim and George's wedding registry!"

The pioneering blogger (and amateur legal enthusiast) has an Amazon profile which appears to spill the beans with a cheerful wedding registry. The happy couple will be married on Kim's birthday in August, the page tells us, along with the fact that George's last name is Clooney. They've registered for a DVD of Solaris, and...

...er, perhaps we should've read the "About the Couple" paragraph first. "This is a fake registry to help test a new feature on Amazon Wedding," Kim writes.

"I disclaim that I do not actually know George Clooney, and that if he were ever to find out that I did such a thing, he would be utterly appalled and slap me with a no-contact order so fast it would make my head spin."

Oh.

Well, since we're here, we may as well round-up the lesser Kim Rollins news. Um, her Amazon wish list now includes the literary classic Stupid Sock Creatures: Making Quirky, Lovable Figures from Cast-off Socks. Uh, Kim also wrote an article about Urban Outfitters last year for some kind of web site about Seattle, but it was too long to actually read. And she occassionally writes book reviews for MSNBC. Oh, and Kim's favorite episode of Friends is "The One With Five Steaks and an Eggplant."

But I want to believe that once in a blue moon, she checks in on the web-log of her former paramour, Wil Shipley. It's tagline?

"I write software. I'm obsessive-compulsive. I like good stuff. Kittens are fuzzy."

Seattle is, apparently, not as exciting as we'd imagined.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

oarsman@pigdog.org


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