Build Date: Wed Apr 15 00:50:04 2026 UTC
I love America so much that I want to fuck it.
-- Miss Conduct
Shipley Has Haircut and Eats Banana!
1998-11-20 10:32:00
(PIGDOG BREAKING) Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley had a haircut Thursday -- and successfully ate half a banana.
Shipley posted details of his triumphs in entry seven of his on-line journal, which has been running since Tuesday. Updates continued throughout Thursday evening. Additional information:
* The haircut took one hour. "Haircut always takes an hour," the Omni executive observed. Shipley reports that he tipped the stylist extra to procure a longer head massage. "Tomorrow when she says goodbye to me for the last time, I'll look my best."
* Shipley began eating the banana at 3:35 p.m Thursday. By 3:39, he had consumed half of it. "Who knew bananas were so big?" Shipley wondered. Finding his hunger sated, he failed to consume the rest -- and apparently vomited at 4:38. "Now I feel lonely and small and scared."
Even the haircut didn't represent an unmitigated triumph. During the head massage, Shipley had to contend with the fact that his stylist "kept asking questions until she realized I wasn't answering and shut up."
Details to follow....
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