Build Date: Sun Jun 16 19:10:06 2024 UTC
d00d! You missed the best part! Turns out that fat chick was actually BUGS BUNNY!
-- Mr. Bad
All Good People Are Asleep And Dreaming
2000-02-08 13:04:12
Firecracker-related fatalities are on the rise in China. People want to blow things up to celebrate the Lunar New Year, and don't give a rat's ass about the fact that it's illegal. The result: Dangerous, illegal fireworks in every home! It's Fatalitastic! What a ride! What a trip!
Now, I don't mean to mock the dead, especially not dozens of dead Chinese people, who may become hopping clawed vampires if mocked after death.
There's all kinds of terrible bad death at the hands of fire. Towns are burning because people were dumb with fireworks and other people were dumb with fireworks legislation. The laws are getting more restrictive, and nobody is actually really giving much of a shit about restrictive laws.
People may be able to tolerate Five Year Plans and the Cultural Revolution, but there's NO WAY they'll be willing to put up with people ruining their Holiday Spirit.
And isn't that what New Year's Day is all about?
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
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Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
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I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)