Burn them ALL! ALL of THEM!


All Good People Are Asleep And Dreaming
2000-02-08 13:04:12

What a Riot!
It is weird to feel normal
-- Sylvia


Firecracker-related fatalities are on the rise in China. People want to blow things up to celebrate the Lunar New Year, and don't give a rat's ass about the fact that it's illegal. The result: Dangerous, illegal fireworks in every home! It's Fatalitastic! What a ride! What a trip!

Now, I don't mean to mock the dead, especially not dozens of dead Chinese people, who may become hopping clawed vampires if mocked after death.

There's all kinds of terrible bad death at the hands of fire. Towns are burning because people were dumb with fireworks and other people were dumb with fireworks legislation. The laws are getting more restrictive, and nobody is actually really giving much of a shit about restrictive laws.

People may be able to tolerate Five Year Plans and the Cultural Revolution, but there's NO WAY they'll be willing to put up with people ruining their Holiday Spirit.

And isn't that what New Year's Day is all about?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


comments powered by Disqus


C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Interviewing the SETIguy
by Siduri

Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
by Negative Nancy

Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
by Flesh



Alex Jones Admits To Being Psychotic.



Alex Jones Throws Temper Tantrum After Being Laughed At.



So what's the time? It's time to get ill! Alex Jones Smokes Some Kind. Gets Really Paranoid


El Destino

The Las Vegas Strip now has robot bartenders


Poindexter Fortran

University of California special collections: now with more Hunter S. Thompson


Baron Earl

Amazing hand-stitched scenes from DUNE


Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders


Baron Earl

CES claims dildo is not a robot


Baron Earl

Rep. Steve King wonders how the phrase "white supremacist" became "offensive"


El Destino

Zeitgeist's Legendary 'Tamale Lady' Dies Just Weeks Before Opening Her Long-Awaited Restaurant

More Quickies...