Build Date: Wed Mar 19 00:20:09 2025 UTC
The angels got the voices but the devil's got the rock and roll
-- Richard O'Brien
Stop the Decade, I Want to Get Off
1999-07-16 11:35:42
Man, I just don't know what to say. The megalomaniacs of the Dumb-Down Bundt have declared this "The Slashdot Decade." Christ!
Talk about your delusions of grandeur. Can you believe it? "The Slashdot Decade!" Dream on, kiddos.
Just imagine TEN MORE YEARS of UNENDING BLATHER from the dolts and bugheads that make up the commercially-owned community known as "/.". Gar! The world's largest SUB-MORON BRAIN FARM, blumbering along for another decade. LEADING another decade. Saints preserve us!
What's with this, anyways? Talk about a severely overhyped site. Who on this PLANET came up with the idea that Slashdot.org is some kind of HOLY PEYOTE vision from THE INTERNET COYOTE GOD? Anyone in the world who thinks that Slashdot is some kind of META-FANTASTICAL INFORMATION ENEMA PLATFORM for the FUTURE probably haven't spent a lot of time there.
I mean, FUCK, what *IS* the Slashdot paradigm, anyways? 10% one-sentence pointers to off-site content, 10% crybaby and suspiciously ad-like essays by Jon Katz, and the other 80% the drooling gabber of thousands of Internet newbies re-hashing the same arguments that have been raging on Usenet since 1985. Yippity FUCK, let's have a SLASHDOT PARADE.
My temples are throbbing just from thinking about this idea. If this is the Slashdot Decade, I'm just gonna SKIP it. Wake me up in 2011, please.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
