Build Date: Wed Jun 4 04:30:16 2025 UTC
Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
-- Bullwinkle Moose
How Nature Points Up the Folly of Men
1999-05-27 13:11:59
Here's another one of those 'net phenomenon deals that just freaks my shit right out. It's a game. It's a cartoon. It's Hello Kitty with an attitude. It's Pokemon, and it's made for little babies, but ADULTS are all into this shit! Why?!? Please write me and tell me how come.
I mean, it's bad enough that there's the whole "white Japanese" rage in the first place. First it was Hello Kitty, and then Keroppi, and all down the line to Sailor Moon (which is all about pedophilia, come on; they dress in schoolgirl outfits and have superpowers: does anybody think the show would be popular if Sailor Moon and her friends were middle-aged nuns?)
Then it went back to Speed Racer. People love that bug-eyed shit with the grossly overstated occidental features and the ass-simple morality plays contained within ("Here is a bad man! We will fight him because he is evil! Now we are winning the race! Yaaaay!"). It's even understandable on some level that, say, the Japanese fetish for schoolgirl tentacle rape is not. Speed Racer = Fast Driver, and all Americans worship cars and the people who drive them. When Speed wins the race, even Jed Sanders can stand up and hoot because he understands the simpler things in life, like drivin' fast and kickin' ass. You just have to ignore the monkey, that's all. Get past the monkey in the ballcap, and Speed Racer is Seven Samurai for Trailer Parks. Whooo doggy!
But Pokemon is... what is it? It's puerile, it's super-cute, it's made for little babies. The little monsters are adorable. The human characters are generic and bland and overreact to situations in the classic Japanimation eye-popping way. It's mostly harmless, Barney on a Vivarin bender and extracted through a multi-cultural eyedropper. There's nothing to it at all. But it's FANTASTICALLY popular! AltaVista finds almost 300,000 hits on "Pokemon" (including a "Pokemon gangsta site for those who love rap.") This is taken more seriously than that Star Wars crap!
I'm not saying this obsession is bad. I'm just saying it's downright weird, and possibly unwholesome. if you don't believe me, look at some of these sites and then tell me you're not worried about stuff you hadn't even thought about before.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
