Build Date: Mon Sep 9 07:30:07 2024 UTC
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
-- W.C. Fields
Dick is Popping up Again
1999-11-14 18:39:08
Sure, Dick is gone, but you can still kick him around.
It's a fact: No man since Hitler is more hated and despised. And as it's well known now, he felt exactly the same way about the public that foolishly put him into office. It's rumored that he attempted to have the original copy of the Constitution so he could use it as toilet paper.
If we had our way, his unholy corpse would be dug up, and mounted in a public urinal in Los Vegas, to be given the treatment it deserves. But unfortunately, we can't. So we'll just have to settle with whacking the shit out of him in spirit. And you can to.
The fine, god-fearing folks at superpants know the very depths of the evil that was Nixon, and have created the Wak-a-Nixon. Just like the favorite game found in family pizzerias all over the country, the object is to nail Nixon back into hell, where he belongs whenever he pops up. But look out, Jimmy Carter will occasionally make an appearance to clean up Nixon's damage.
So have some fun while you keep humanity safe.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
