Build Date: Fri Sep 4 15:40:44 2026 UTC
Bill Gates is such an idiot he had initials burned into my ass.
-- rotten elf
Gross Homeopathic Linux Bigots!
1999-11-11 00:12:02
Check out these freaks at Linux Mall! If you want a job with them (in a "simultaneously fun, laid back and high pressure mode,") you have to be some kind of WEIRDO who's not only not allowed to smoke or wear perfumes, but apparently not allowed to KNOW ANYBODY WHO SMOKES!
It's all true:
"We have some people with allergies & chemical sensitivities, so we try to maintain a "safe" work environment. As such perfumes, and any non-natural or scented personal care items are strongly discouraged. We have approved products in all categories that we can share & refer you to. Anyone who smokes, or has immediate family that smokes need not apply."
What they mean by that "need not apply" line is "WE HATE YOU! YOU SMELL LIKE A FART! DIE!"
Also, they pay RIDICULOUSLY LOW salaries, like eight bucks an hour, and they expect you to work ELEVEN HOURS A DAY!
Ah HAHAHAHAHA! So don't nobody go work for Linux Mall, OK? Stupid John Tesh-loving weirdo sensitivity nazis! Fuckers!!!11

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