Build Date: Thu Oct 30 17:10:41 2025 UTC
I just think it's important to note that nobody needs to have special equipment on hand if the opportunity to piss on Mitch McConnell's grave suddenly comes up.
-- Frankenstein Jones
Let GNU Privacy Guard Cover Your Ass
1999-08-12 10:40:36
d00d, you HAVE to get GPG! The Age of Encryption is here! If you don't get some GPG, your VIRTUAL ASS will be hanging out in the WIND!
OK, so, here's Mr. Bad's 200 word take on encryption in general and GPG in particular: it is time for you to PANIC! All kinds of data you have, like email and files and shit like that, are FLYING through the AETHER or lying around on SOMEONE ELSE'S MACHINE! ISPs and employers are NOTORIOUS for going into your files and mail at RANDOM TIMES, just to check up on you! Like those bad things you said about drugs and guns, THEY'RE LOOKING AT THAT RIGHT NOW!
And they turn over for the COPS like THAT! Imagine I just snapped my fingers, because that's how fast they turn over! In the snap of a finger! Oh, and if the cops have a warrant, they can SEIZE YOUR COMPUTER and just go fishing around on your hard drive until they find something INCRIMINATING. FUCK!
The essence of this is that YOU ARE BEING WATCHED. You may already be highly SCREWED.
Now, people like the EFF tell you to temper your speech and consider all the stuff you put on the Internet as public. But what kind of BULLSHIT is that? Fuck that! I don't want to temper myself, and I don't want to get screwed by bad authority figures and wimpy buttboy ISPs. THAT'S WHY YOU GOTTA have some ENCRYPTION.
Encryption = fussing up your files and email so only the people who are supposed to be able to read them can read them. You get a program for encrypting shit, and then you encrypt it, and it looks like gibberish. Then you send the gibberish to someone, and they unencrypt it, and then they can see the shit, and COOL. Encryption is GOOD JUJU.
The technology has been around for a while, but very bad people like the FBI and the NSA and the RSA folks have been keeping people from getting good encryption technology through crazy-ass things like export control and patent suits and so forth. And the best crypto package, PGP, has been bought by a weirdo company, who's way in bed with the Feds, and they're pretty screwy in a lot of ways, and the software's proprietary, and the source is hard to get, and just fuck it.
But no MORE! Now there's a very cool crypto program, GnuPG, that's FREE SOFTWARE, meaning that you get the SOURCE CODE and the compiled program, and you can give it to WHOEVER YOU WANT. And it doesn't cost nothing. GPG is REALLY BITCHEN. I highly recommend that you check it out TODAY!

T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)