133% of Americans Think Polls Make Their Opinion Worth Something
2000-01-31 17:18:57
I got a statistic for you-- imagine an average American. Got it? OK, now imagine that 50% of the US is dumber than that. Now give 75% of Americans access to computers. Finally set up a "news" site entirely devoted to reporting on the outcome of polls and combine that with the recent finding that show the more incompetent you are the less likely you are to know it... Volia-- Yahoo! Public Opinion.
Ah yes, public polling! How in the world did I manage to get through my day without knowing that "40.4% [of adults nationwide] agreed that indoor plumbing has been the single greatest addition to the 20th century home." Or that "Bugs Bunny & Friends Show was chosen Best of the Century by 26.3% of respondents."
Eh, but it all sounds so harmless, a kinda small-scale online mob-mentality that can reassure America's dumb-asses that they are in the in-crowd, at least when it comes to plumbing and cartoons. But what about real issues? Does the fact that 61.6% of 968 adults (who had nothing better to do than answer a phone survey) think Elian Gonzalez should be returned to Cuba mean anything?
Why do 968 random people's opinions matter more than one random person's opinion? What if you went to the hospital for major surgery and instead of 1 trained doctor you had 1324 adults from a nation-wide sampling vote on how to proceed?
Now I'm not saying I'm some kinda anti-democracy freak-o or anything-- I believe people should be able to vote on things that will affect their own lives. For example dumb-asses should be able to be ruled by dumb-ass laws. Self-righteous pricks have my blessing to elect self-righteous prick officials.
But that's exactly what's wrong with all the big hype and attention that's given to public polls. They shouldn't be part of a NEWS site, they should be on the back page with the horoscopes and comics... but that's just my opinion.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)