Build Date: Tue Mar 17 09:50:06 2026 UTC
If someone like Karl Rove had wanted to neutralize the most creative, intelligent, and passionate members of his opposition, he'd have a hard time coming up with a better tool than Burning Man. Exile them to the wilderness, give them a culture in which alpha status requires months of focus and resource-consumptive preparation, provide them with metric tons of psychotropic confusicants, and then... ignore them. It's a pretty safe bet that they won't be out registering voters, or doing anything that might actually threaten electoral change, when they have an art car to build.
-- John Perry Barlow
Reality Crashes Down in Broomfield
1999-07-12 16:19:56
A veritable shitstorm of biblical proportions engulfed Broomfield: City of Crime this week, as a quick glance at the latest Poilce and Fire log showed a rash of barbaric, hate-fueled gutter emotions running unchecked through the once-glorious and peaceful burg.
Residents were advised by a leftover Cold War-era loudspeaker system to stay inside their homes at all times and to lock their doors and bar their windows and other entryways. Residents owning guns who were advised to stock up on bullets at the local Ace Hardware store were perplexed when they discovered that the store had gone out of business six months ago.
A quick summary of the flashpoint violence last week:
- Two juvenile males got into a physical fight at the Target store
- A lawn mower was stolen
- An abandoned car with a broken windshield was discovered; police were not immediately able to assess whether anything of value was stolen from the car
- A juvenile broke his parents' telephone. Loss: $175
- A 7-year-old boy broke a window
- A portable toilet seat was set on fire
- Two trees were damaged
- A garage window was damaged
- Three adult females used the pool at Highlander Apartments after hours
- A dead man was discovered
- A tiki torch was assaulted
- Graffiti was discovered on the 96th Street interchage
These are not happy days for Broomfield: City of Crime, my friends.
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