Build Date: Fri Jul 19 17:50:09 2024 UTC

There must be better things I can spend my time rampantly masturbating or something.
-- Paul Vortex

Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man

by Baron Earl

2023-09-01 00:18:48

A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything.

One burner told the protestors the obvious, "You're out of your fucking minds... We're all trying to go fucking burn. It's been hours and hours of fucking bullshit to get to this fucking point. You should fucking know better than to [unintelligible]. Ass clowns!"

As several burners tried to dismantle the barricade, protestors would re-erect it, making it difficult to decide which side had the most ineffective way of dealing with the situation.

One protestor argued "This is a democracy! This is a democracy! This is a democracy!" because evidently The People had voted for him to block the road. He seemed to be getting his right to speak and protest confused with his right to be arrested for blocking a public highway.

Eventually the Pyramid Lake Rangers showed up. "Disband, get off the highway, this is a state route," announced a ranger over his truck's loudspeaker. "Everybody will be arrested if not. 30 seconds. Send your leader to my vehicle, let's talk. Get off the fucking road."

About 37 seconds later the Rangers rammed the blockade and arrested the protestors, because this is democracy.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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