Build Date: Mon May 20 18:30:06 2024 UTC

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-- Tjames Madison

FBI Plans for Armageddon

by Baron Earl

1999-11-05 07:26:21

The Feds have made a list,
they're checking it twice,
you'd best believe
they know who's naughty and nice.
Arm-a-geddon
is coming
to town!

The FBI has come out with a report listing The Usual Suspects for end-of-the-world millennial madness. If you ever wanted a list of hate groups and all-around BAD people, this is your list!

The FBI has (rather grandly) titled the report "Project Megiddo", which is the hill in northern Israel where the battle of Armageddon, the end of the world, is supposed to take place. Apparently the FBI is concerned that some of these groups will get a little IMPATIENT just waiting around for the world to end and, being (mostly) good Christians and all, they might just try to help the world on its way.

Just a little too darn helpful of these groups, I'd say.

In order to prevent mass suicides, bombings, terrorist attacks and other not-quite-bright plans of these groups from becoming reality, the FBI has compiled this list.

So you nasty people out there, you'd better not commit mass suicide or you'll be in BIG trouble! The FBI is watching you!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

jared@pigdog.org

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