Build Date: Wed Sep 9 08:02:15 2026 UTC
I wish you were a Pez dispenser so I could eat candy out of your neck.
-- Gar's Sister
Bad Men in Orange Jumpsuits
1999-07-06 21:15:01
So, we saw these eTOY guys at a freako SRL show last year. Yeah, the one under the freeway. And I am here to say that they are MAJOR NUTCASES!
They all had BALD HEADS and orange jumpsuits that said "ETOY" on the back. Despite their general mental patient outfits, they were loved by women everywhere! "EEE TTEEEE OOOOHHH WHYYYY" cheered the beautiful women who were waiting for the giant SRL robots. Perhaps someday beautiful women will shout like that for Pigdog Journal -- could be we need to act EVEN MORE like big criminally insane freakos.
Anyways, right after that I checked out their website. It is COMPLETELY NON- LINEAR and EURO-TRASHY. I couldn't believe it! It's the Web site Dieter from Schprockets would make!
So it freaked me out that they are now the darlings of Wall Street! Everyone is talking about their fantastic IPO, where all those creeps in orange made kajillions of dollars! For their stupid Eurotrash website! What kind of justice is there in that!?!
Anyways, since etoy.com is, like, the darling of Wall Street now, you should probably go check them out. Or maybe you already have. Me, I wouldn't pay for this stock, but it could be just cause I'm jealous. I dunno.

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
Tastes like key lime pie, gets you hammered like nobody's business: Introducing the Key Lime Spocktail! (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)