Build Date: Sat Oct 24 02:21:38 2026 UTC
Universal Studios is about as much fun as getting a summons.
-- Tjames Madison
Let Elvis Come Inside Of You
2002-01-21 21:07:22
It's pronounced El-vii, there are 6 of them: Love Me Tender Elvis, GI Joe Elvis, 60's Rockin Elvis, Charro, 70's Come-Back Elvis, and the poor old Over The Edge Died In The Loo Elvis. But now there is another Elvis. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Extreme Elvis. I've only felt this way once before while watching what appeared to be Snuff Films with a cute bartender giving me the eye. It was a combination of wanting to hurl and being turned on at the same time.
Extreme Elvis is more like a Back From The Dead Zombie Sleaze Bag Dirty Old Fat Man Elvis. I saw Extreme Elvis at Dada Fest 2001. I didn't actually catch his act, but I did see him. Mostly around the Outdoor Smoking Lounge. He sang a little for us. He was really hammy but with an overall Elvisness. Apparently he sings really crappy renditions of Elvis tunes while stripping out of his jumpsuit. He kicks off his shoes, urinates into one and drinks it. Then he sort of jiggles around the stage nekkid.
The best thing about Extreme Elvis is this alleged letter from The Graceland Staff:
From: Graceland Staff
Dear Gaylord,
Yours is one of several messages we've recently received about Extreme Elvis. Our licensing/legal people have run across this one in their continuous observation of Elvis-related activity on the Internet. We are copying them on the messages we are getting about this.
Generally speaking, there are some aspects of impersonating Elvis (even doing grossly unflattering parodies) that fall under First Amendment rights of expression. There are also some types of activities related to impersonation that do involve trademark or copyright infringements for which we do have some legal recourse.
And there are lots of "gray areas". The whole subject is very complicated and the world is full of Elvis impersonations and parodies to have to contend with. This is a never-ending challenge. We can't get into any detailed dialogue specifcally about Extreme Elvis at this time other than to say it does have our attention. But, do know that we share your dismay and disgust and that we greatly appreciate your concern. Best wishes, The Graceland Staff
bcc: Extreme Elvis Circulation
I'll give the guy a half a point of Chicken John for the title Love Me Chicken Tenders. But that's IT. Otherwise, I too share in this dismay and disgust and I have GREAT concern for That Which I Hold Sacred And True. Extreme Elvis is purely vulgar and decadent with too much ham and not enough cheese. It is most definitely NOT Elvis. Is that splooge on Extreme Elvis' face? Awwww, MAN! No one needs to see Elvis like that.

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)