Build Date: Fri Aug 7 00:00:13 2026 UTC
Personally, I wouldn't fly all the way to Dimension Q to save Hawkman's useless ass, but that's just me.
-- Mr. Bad
Hacker Chic
2000-02-23 12:20:10
Man, it's all about the CRAZY HACKER CLOTHES! Wear lots of them, and then hack things real hard! Hack hack hack!
I gots to say, I dig this Jinx Hack Wear. I think I might be turning into a HACKER GROUPIE or something, because I'm crazy for hackers nowadays! I read Hacker News Network and Packet Storm and all that shit! Go, speed hacker, go!
I think what I dig about HACKER hackers is that they're not WHINEY, like Jargon File-style hackers are. Jesus, man, all you have to do is read some of the POOR POOR ME stories by Jon Katz of Slashdot.org to get PHYSICALLY ILL with bad, dumb, wimpy JF-hackers. Everybody picks on geeks, and they are all sad.
Snap out of it, you fuckers! Go break things! Set off bombs! Keep the Man busy! Write EVIL SOFTWARE, not WHINEY POETRY!
Oh, so, anyways, Jinx Hackwear. It's got great stuff to wear when you are breaking into the COMPUTER CORE from a SUBWAY STATION and Penn Jillette is trying to stop you! You can be all cool in a "GOT ROOT?" T-shirt or a "CARPE NOCTUM" jockstrap or something. OK, I'm not sure if they have jockstraps or not, but it'd be cool if they did!
Go try on some HACKER CHIC! It's the next big thing! Really!

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my! (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)