Build Date: Wed May 21 20:30:37 2025 UTC
My grandmother is made out of titanium.
-- Binky
Outrage!! Vicious Squirrel Attack on MY CITY!!!
1999-07-04 20:22:56
Damn those Squirrels! This is a direct attack against humankind, as well as my city, Swingin' El Cerrito, in the beautiful Bay Area.
In a kamikaze style attack, a fluffy tailed assassin hurled itself into a transformer bank of an El Cerrito power station. This treacherous act set off a power outage that lasted for almost two hours, and left 38,000 people without power in Swingin' El Cerrito, Berkeley, Albany, Richmond, and parts of Oakland.
Okay, so this time it was just a squirrel, a cute little fuzzy squirrel.
But, Next Time... And there will be a Next Time... What if it's a SQRAT?!
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
