Build Date: Mon Feb 16 22:50:10 2026 UTC
I'm pretty sure that the FAA prohibits planes from flying into skyscrapers.
-- Johnnie Royale
Flesh-eating squirrel injures 18
2022-01-13 23:21:38
Over a two day period a grey squirrel with a taste for human flesh attacked and injured 18 people in Buckley, Flintshire, Wales.
The peace of this normally tranquil town was shattered by the marauding beast, causing townspeople to stay inside behind locked and barred doors.
Corinne Reynolds, 65, had been training the squirrel since last March to approach people and expect to be fed. "All those months he's been fine, he would even come and take a nut out of my hand," Reynolds said.
After months of training, Stripe went in search of a handout from a complete stranger. After receiving no nuts, Stripe sank his sharp buck teeth into the stranger's hand.
Stripe quickly developed a taste for human meat, and went on to bite and injure 18 different people in the area over a two day period.
Reynolds realized what a monster she'd unleashed upon her town, so just like Dr. Frankenstein before her, she resolved to capture Stripe before he struck again. "I have a two-year-old grandson," she said, "If he'd been bitten on the finger, he could have lost it."
Reynolds placed a trap in the area where she normally fed Stripe peanuts. Twenty minutes later Stripe the flesh-eating squirrel was trapped in a cage.
The RSPCA took Stripe from Reynolds and, after a brief examination, the hungry squirrel was euthanized by a vet.
The nightmare was over for the people of Buckley.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
