Build Date: Tue Apr 16 19:20:07 2024 UTC

Nature is a lazy Mother.
-- Anonymous

Vampire Squirrel Terrorizes Texas Town

by Baron Earl

2020-01-18 01:40:24

A crazy, bad ass vampire squirrel is attacking residents in a small Texas neighborhood, making residents stay inside with their doors locked.

Residents are afraid to go outside for fear that they will become the squirrel's next victim.

Being bitten by a Vampire Squirrel leaves victims with blood loss and wounds but not immortality, shape-shifting abilities, or nut-hiding powers.

One resident told a reporter "I couldn’t get in the house because he came back, he bit this leg" she said, pointing to her leg.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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