Build Date: Tue Apr 16 20:10:03 2024 UTC

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa

Fabio Latest Victim of Insane Animal Hostility

by Tjames Madison

1999-03-31 20:32:00

Butter-substitute enthusiasts everywhere breathed a huge sigh of relief recently when male supermodel Fabio emerged bloodied but unbowed from a vicious confrontation with a kamikaze goose in Virginia.

The goose, tracking the beefy Italian Creatine poster boy and romance novelist's movements, zeroed in on Fabio while he was riding a roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA and attacked his face with terrible force, gouging an inch-long rut into the bridge of Mr. Fabio's much-photographed nose. Isn't it odd that these animal hoodlums can pinpoint Fabio's location on a rollercoaster in Virginia, yet none dare call it conspiracy? And if Fabio is not safe, then who among us truly is?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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