Build Date: Wed Apr 15 02:50:05 2026 UTC
No, you don't understand, Michael. I *do* always have to be an ass. It's all I have left.
-- Tjames Madison
Fabio Latest Victim of Insane Animal Hostility
1999-03-31 20:32:00
Butter-substitute enthusiasts everywhere breathed a huge sigh of relief recently when male supermodel Fabio emerged bloodied but unbowed from a vicious confrontation with a kamikaze goose in Virginia.
The goose, tracking the beefy Italian Creatine poster boy and romance novelist's movements, zeroed in on Fabio while he was riding a roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA and attacked his face with terrible force, gouging an inch-long rut into the bridge of Mr. Fabio's much-photographed nose. Isn't it odd that these animal hoodlums can pinpoint Fabio's location on a rollercoaster in Virginia, yet none dare call it conspiracy? And if Fabio is not safe, then who among us truly is?
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
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