Build Date: Thu Jan 8 05:10:04 2026 UTC
I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time.
-- Bill Hicks
Fabio Latest Victim of Insane Animal Hostility
1999-03-31 20:32:00
Butter-substitute enthusiasts everywhere breathed a huge sigh of relief recently when male supermodel Fabio emerged bloodied but unbowed from a vicious confrontation with a kamikaze goose in Virginia.
The goose, tracking the beefy Italian Creatine poster boy and romance novelist's movements, zeroed in on Fabio while he was riding a roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA and attacked his face with terrible force, gouging an inch-long rut into the bridge of Mr. Fabio's much-photographed nose. Isn't it odd that these animal hoodlums can pinpoint Fabio's location on a rollercoaster in Virginia, yet none dare call it conspiracy? And if Fabio is not safe, then who among us truly is?
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