Build Date: Tue Apr 16 19:40:05 2024 UTC

Subtlety is not one of my virtues.
-- Johnnie Royale

When Animal Breeding Goes Horribly Wrong

by Flesh

2000-01-17 16:47:57

What's a poor rural hick to do for entertainment, now that cow tipping has gone out of style? May we suggest Goat Yelling?

Among the species known as Capra Hircus, there is a rare and quite bizarre genus known as The Tennessee Fainting Goat. The Fainting Goat is a high-strung beast. When it is startled, it will stiffen up and fall over giving the appearance of fainting or dying.

The goats, which are a recognized breed, are afflicted with the condition known as Myatonia. Because of this blatant violation of the fight or flight natural law, the goats were used primarily to protect herds of sheep (when a predator would move in for the kill, the startled goat would keel over, providing the attacker a buffet, while the sheep ran to safety). These days, the goats are used to amuse small children and members of college fraternities.

I am told that in Northeast Montana, there is a farm that raises an entire herd of these poor animals for the specific purpose of letting Canadian demon people from Alberta scream at them for a monetary ammount. I predict that very soon, this breed will also be well known for being the only animal aside from humans that suffers from heart attacks.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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