Build Date: Wed May 21 15:40:32 2025 UTC
EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN THE ASS. Cocaine, wine, coffee, nitrous (supposedly quite dangerous), sushi, "Little Mermaid" DVDs, cat food, Forth: EVERYTHING is better if you put it in your ass. Everything!
-- The Mighty Silverback
Amazon HQ2 building approved by Arlington County
2022-04-25 15:39:17
The Arlington County Board gave unanimous approval Saturday to Amazon's plans to build a unique, buttplug-shaped tower as the centerpiece of its emerging second headquarters in northern Virginia. The new Amazon headquarters design takes inspiration from the brief love affair between The Flying Bum and Jeff Bezo's Penis Rocket.
After the previous committee meeting some architectural changes were made, including changing the building heights so that they vary rather than taper to allow for easier insertion, and that the design will focus on pedestrian movement to provide additional stimulation. The front of retail stores will be in highly visible, high-pedestrian volume spots, such as those facing 12th Street, and retail uses will be in building corners.
Additionally, the wider base -- the first through fifth stories -- will use different building materials on the façade compared to the upper levels, to provide different textures that are more pleasing to the touch.
The planning commission recommends that JBG Smith Properties add greenery -- a nice thick bush -- to the plazas at Eads and Ferns streets and eliminate redundant pathways to link greenery. They also want the developer to improve the "accessibility" of the park's "north entrance" on Army Navy Drive.
JBG Smith is working with the county’s Department of Parks and Recreation to develop a "master" plan for the park, which the Arlington County Board will vote on at the same time as the proposed, more submissive, site plan.
Before the board votes, the planning commission will review the plan in a meeting that is yet to be scheduled.
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