Build Date: Sun Oct 18 07:04:41 2026 UTC
Them is not hip to Us yet.
-- Tjames Madison
Mars Slushie!
2002-05-28 18:29:44
In a suprise move today NASA scientists released data from the 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft showing that water -- trapped as ice just under the Martian surface -- exists in large quantities on the red planet. According to scientists, enough water exists to fill Lake Michigan twice over, if you don't mind filling it with slushy red mud.
"We were as suprised as anyone that we actually got some usable data out of a Mars probe," one anonymous NASA scientist opined, referring to the spate of problems NASA has had getting data from earlier Mars spacecraft.
"We were about to whip up another batch of Lost Probes and drown our sorrows," he continued, "then one of the interns realized we were reading the data right to left when we should be reading it left to right. Duh! Once we got that straightened out someone else figured out that the aich-too-oh readings on the screen refer to water! Water on Mars! Who'd a thunk it?"
He then passed out into the pretzel bowl on the bar, overcome with scientific joy. Further questions were answered with loud snores.
T O P S T O R I E S
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America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
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Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
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Songs Of Love And Special Things
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I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
