I quit drinking, and then I lost my car, and my house, my girlfriend and my job and my self respect. Now I'm homeless, unemployed, riding public transpo, broke, unloved and suicidally depressed, but you know what? today I don't have to drink. -- Splicer
In a suprise move today NASA scientists released data from the 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft showing that water -- trapped as ice just under the Martian surface -- exists in large quantities on the red planet. According to scientists, enough water exists to fill Lake Michigan twice over, if you don't mind filling it with slushy red mud.
"We were as suprised as anyone that we actually got some usable data out of a Mars probe," one anonymous NASA scientist opined, referring to the spate of problems NASA has had getting data from earlier Mars spacecraft.
"We were about to whip up another batch of Lost Probes and drown our sorrows," he continued, "then one of the interns realized we were reading the data right to left when we should be reading it left to right. Duh! Once we got that straightened out someone else figured out that the aich-too-oh readings on the screen refer to water! Water on Mars! Who'd a thunk it?"
He then passed out into the pretzel bowl on the bar, overcome with scientific joy. Further questions were answered with loud snores.
