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NASA Says "No Drunks in Space"
2002-02-02 03:12:22

Space, the Final Frontier
What a fucking night. No more tequila. Ever.
-- Paul


NASA has released criteria for visitors to the International Space Station. Bad People of the Future are most certainly not invited.

A partial list of the sins that will get you banned for life from the International Space Station includes habitual boozing, drug use, and, according to the Associated Press, "membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the public's confidence in the space station or its partners."

That pretty much guarantees that I will never visit the Internation Space Station. Nor will any of my friends or associates, for that matter.

The clause about organizational involvement is vaguely threatening. Just how many partners of the space station will you have to keep quiet about? Does this mean that anyone who publicly criticizes Lockheed Martin is prohibited from visiting the ISS?

How could the Russians agree to this? As there are no Cosmonauts that aren't raging drunks, this will mean the end to their space program.

C'mon, NASA, loosen up! A little kegger on the ISS would go a long way toward improving your public image. When people spend $20 Million on a vacation they expect to loosen up.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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