Build Date: Wed Jul 2 01:51:22 2025 UTC
He had a very sort of, a strangely very attractive sort of pungent sort of gamey, sort of a venison or a lamb sausage... and a little bit of rosemary with a touch of ranch dressing.
-- James Spader, discussing the aroma of William Shatner
Gravity and Beverages... The Universal equation
2001-11-24 13:14:27
Few can deny the wonder it would be, to kick back on a comfortable chair upon the Moon, to cast gaze over the Earth, rising in the Morning sun.
But within this dream we share, there is a problem...
Gravity ...A discoverey by Sir Issac Newton, published in his "Principia" of 1687; The problem is Gravity! (Or rather a lack thereof).
But why would this law, which holds us fast to our Mother Earth, be the source of any problem in our dream? After all... Man has conquered local Space. Time and again, in fact, we have broken the shackles which tie us to this Planet, and ventured forth to that shining disc in the sky called 'Luna'. So why then doth the laymen need fear?
...Beer...
Without Gravity, you can't have Beer! [*1*]
Thats right... Gravity has been, until recently, the forgotten part of the equation...
( Water + Barley + Hops + Yeast + Carbon Dioxide (+Gravity) = Beer )
"Carbonation cannot take place without Gravity!?" I hear you gasp!
Well, fear not intrepid Spacefreaks because help is at hand!
Our Friends at NASA have gone to the trouble of discovering a method not only of keeping and consuming Beer in Space, but even to *brew* it!
Yes friends, with the use of the "Fluid Processing Apparatus" utilised by Kirsten Sterrett, recently graduated from the University of Colorado, in her experiments on board an Industry Sponsored Space Shuttle, you too can brew Beer in the vast, black, weightless void that is Space!
In fact, it is actually more efficient to ferment your Beer in Space! So now, with this knowledge, we can finally look up and truly dream...
We can dream a complete dream... A full dream! A dream with Stars, Planets, comfortable chairs, morning light and yes... a beautiful cold glass of tasty Space Beer!
In Space, noone can hear you get pissed!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
When you've been up all night sampling other Spocktails and guzzling absinthe, you need a morning pick-me-up with some KICK. Time for a tall glass of Blurry Sharp Meltdown! (More...)
