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WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS (cont'd)
2000-02-20 01:35:00

By Mr. Bad

Mr. Bad

Ah-HA! I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it

Tjames

I find Leisuretown a tad discomfiting.

Arkuat

dudes, i always hang out here

Mr. Bad

NO overlap in personnel? Tristram Shandy is not one of the Jerk City folk.

Mr. Bad

Tristan Farnon, I mean.

Mr. Bad

Or whatever.

CAREFULLY INVESTIGATORS WOULD'VE NOTICED THE SERVERS WERE HOSTED BY THE SAME ISP

Rands

Arkuat

why didn't you send me an email to let me know you had an interview scheduled for EFnet #pigdog?

Mr. Bad

JESUS!

Tjames

It's OK, arkie. We'll remove your contributions post facto.

Mr. Bad

What kind of journalist am I!?

Arkuat

okay cool

Mr. Bad

Cripes.

Mr. Bad

Yeah, we'll scribble you out in post, arkie.

Mr. Bad

Like a Politburo member fallen out of favor.

Arkuat

okay if i watch? i could just go trolling on #philosophy if you want me to go away

Tjames

Like HST's cigarette in that Gap ad.

Fine with me.

Rands

Mr. Bad

Arkie, no, don't bother.

Mr. Bad

Arkie, meet Rands, from Jerkcity.com.

HOLA

Rands

Mr. Bad

Arkuat is a Pigdog fellow from back in the day.

Tjames

Arkuat is a Monster Truck Extropian.

Arkuat

greetings.

Mr. Bad

Well, so, I want to get into an interesting topic, which is the GAYNESS.

UH OH

Rands

Tjames

It's OK. We're not GAY.

Mr. Bad

Do you get lots of irate letters from gay beatniks or gay scottie dogs or gay aliens who are angry about the way they are portrayed on Jerk City?

Mr. Bad

Well, except Arkuat. He's queer as a chocolate pizza.

Actually no. I can't think of one nasty hate mail we've received

Rands

Tjames

Yeah, his GAYNESS contains multitudes.

Enigma enters the IRC channel.

Tjames

haha

Mr. Bad

Gah! Jesus! THis is getting to be a major gangfuck!

I mean, it's pretty obvious WE'RE TRYING TO BE FUCKING FUNNY HERE PEOPLE

Rands

Mr. Bad

[Enigma], meet rands from Jerk City.

Enigma

Hey rands

Tjames

We should have set up a special pig-interview channel or sumthin

GANG BANG RANDS QUICK

Rands

Mr. Bad

rands, meet [Enigma], my next Perl regexp.

Enigma

Interface is as interface does

Mr. Bad

Well, I think that's fairly obvious to most people, rands, but the internet is full of Literalist Fuckheads.

Tjames

Well, I have to admit, I think it's funny to call things gay, too.

Tjames

But I called something gay once, and Mr. bad said, "Tjames, you should not make fun of people just because they are gay," He's so sensitive.

So, do you guys have a favorite character?

Rands

Tjames

I like the alien with the tongue, just because it's so creepy.

Mr. Bad

Yeah, my favorite is rands, the scotty dog.

Mr. Bad

I mean, the beatnik.

Spigot

Rands

Mr. Bad

Hey, WE'LL ask the questions, rands!

Mr. Bad

Jesus!

READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP HERE

Rands

Mr. Bad

So, where does the Jerk City name come from? Like, City of Jerking off?

Domain name popped in my head in '98...

Rands

Mr. Bad

Or city of people who are mean?

JERK = funny. CITY = lots of funny.

Rands

Tjames

Like extra jerk.

Mr. Bad

Oh, hey, I should have figgered that out before.

Registered the name and then THOUGHT HARD ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH IT

Rands

It was originally going to be a masterbation resource

Rands

Mr. Bad

I want to point out that my favorite jerkcity is the one where SPigot says, like, "Not a day goes by that I don't jerk off so much I get a stomach ache."

BUT I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT BONERS

Rands

Arkuat

I like how you use ALL CAPS

ALL CAPS = FUNNY

Rands

Mr. Bad

I was touched very deeply. I didn't feel so alone any more.

-MORE-

nvious@pigdog.org