Build Date: Fri Aug 15 21:52:32 2025 UTC
Ah, a sense of peace washes my soul as I stare out the window and watch the retarded gardeners pass before me.
-- GodTodd
SPOCK-2-K
1999-12-15 13:10:10
I think that if I've got to see the ENTIRE WORLD COLLAPSE this holiday season what with Y2K and all, I want to do it SPOCK-STYLE! And now the man himself has a BOOK to EXPLAIN HOW!
Chiggity-Check it out! Big SPOCK has a crazy BOOK and WEB SITE about surviving the DESTRUCTION of EARTH CULTURE come 1/1/2000. His new book, "Y2K Family Survival Guide" is a MUST-BUY for fans for civilization, families, and of course SPOCKO!
I don't have this book yet, but I'm sure it has lots of cool explanations of how to panic wildly, foam at the mouth, roll your eyes and bring Western culture to a screeching halt. Hopefully there's also good diagrams of how to make a crazy space ship to fly out of Earth and into a GOOD PLANET where there ain't no WHY TWO KAY!
I'm not exactly sure if I understand WHY Spock wrote this book, though. Why doesn't he just go back in time to the Sixties and tell the computer programmer guys at IBM with the big slide rules that they should not be dumb about Y2K? It would be real easy, so I don't understand! Perhaps is Edith Kieler involved?
Anyways, if everything goes to fuck-all, I'm going to go to Hollywood and camp on SPOCK'S FRONT LAWN. He's REAL SMART and he'll know exactly what to do! Beaujolais! Y2K! Spock got GAME!
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
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During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
