Build Date: Fri Sep 5 12:00:19 2025 UTC
I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. OTTERS.
-- Christopher Walken
SPOCK-2-K
1999-12-15 13:10:10
I think that if I've got to see the ENTIRE WORLD COLLAPSE this holiday season what with Y2K and all, I want to do it SPOCK-STYLE! And now the man himself has a BOOK to EXPLAIN HOW!
Chiggity-Check it out! Big SPOCK has a crazy BOOK and WEB SITE about surviving the DESTRUCTION of EARTH CULTURE come 1/1/2000. His new book, "Y2K Family Survival Guide" is a MUST-BUY for fans for civilization, families, and of course SPOCKO!
I don't have this book yet, but I'm sure it has lots of cool explanations of how to panic wildly, foam at the mouth, roll your eyes and bring Western culture to a screeching halt. Hopefully there's also good diagrams of how to make a crazy space ship to fly out of Earth and into a GOOD PLANET where there ain't no WHY TWO KAY!
I'm not exactly sure if I understand WHY Spock wrote this book, though. Why doesn't he just go back in time to the Sixties and tell the computer programmer guys at IBM with the big slide rules that they should not be dumb about Y2K? It would be real easy, so I don't understand! Perhaps is Edith Kieler involved?
Anyways, if everything goes to fuck-all, I'm going to go to Hollywood and camp on SPOCK'S FRONT LAWN. He's REAL SMART and he'll know exactly what to do! Beaujolais! Y2K! Spock got GAME!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
