So some jackass has invented this device that monitors your
computer to see if your kid is looking at porno, and then
emails or pages you and tells you "YOUR KID IS LOOKING AT
The Cyber Sentinel, to be unveiled next week at COMDEX by Security Software
Systems ("We're the SSS! The SS were FAGS!"), not only checks up on Junior and
his little excursions to the dark side of the web, but also claims to prevent
ruthless attacks from the web's ever-present menace, the Pedophile, the
shambling mound of humanity that waits behind every "sexxxitement" banner ad
that your little tyke is going to encounter. Cyber Sentinel alerts parents
whenever their children exchange phone numbers, addresses or social security
numbers - something that most molesters now require, apparently, along with a
security deposit for soiled linen.
While most experts agree that Cyber Sentinel will probably make life more
difficult for online stalkers, the consensus view worries that America's
children are going to have difficulties procuring "dates with hotties" now that
Mom and Dad will be notified every time their spawn give out their phone number.
Cyber Sentinel: Making Puberty Even More Terrifying Since 1999!