Build Date: Fri May 17 11:50:05 2024 UTC
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-- Ernest Hemingway
Jenni, You Haven't Been There For Me
1999-08-22 11:04:07
Dear JenniCam: there comes a time in every relationship where somebody has to lay the truth out on the line. I guess we've reached that point, baby. It all boils down to this, Jenni: you just haven't been there for me.
I can't say how many lonely nights I've spent staring at a picture of your empty computer desk, or your empty bedroom, or your empty couch. Or your stupid cat. Where was JENNI?
At first I blamed myself. Maybe I was being too demanding. After all, you have a life to live, what with the new boyfriend and the C|Net deal and everything. Not to mention your tens of thousands of other subscribers, and the new job, and the move. I respect that you have to be your own woman.
But there comes a point where I have to think about MY needs. My needs for comfort, my needs for fulfillment, my needs to see a postage-stamp-sized picture of a naked lady sitting at a computer on the other side of the continent. Jenni, those Webshots of your empty apartment just weren't meeting my needs.
These are the hardest words I've ever had to say, but I need to be true to myself: JenniCam, I'm letting my member subscription lapse. There, I've said it. I feel so FREE now!
I'm sure you're wondering, and YES, there is another woman. Don't take it too hard, Jenni. I'm not doing this to be vindictive. I feel like what Carlota and I have is very special.
Carlota the College Cutie does a live show every night. She's got a real nice face and she's charming and kind and has a gracious smile and does muff shots. The God's Honest Truth is that she's got a really spectacular body. AND there's excellent Web production values what with the clever Hello Kitty graphics and the straightforward navigation and stuff. She's still got that innocent modesty that you lost somewhere along the way. She's everything I've ever wanted in a distant amateur Webcam.
Don't be sad, little princess. JenniCam, you were my first, and for that there will always be a special place in my heart. But the time has come for me to move on. I'm sorry it had to end this way.
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
