Build Date: Sat Nov 8 20:20:11 2025 UTC
OLE... yuck. "Hey Jed, this here Word document gots a VIDEO in it!"
-- Tjames Madison
Fun-Loving Aussies Deliver Another Blow to Equality
1999-12-01 01:17:57
Australia - traditionally a strong competitor for the UN's annual "It's a Man's Man's Man's Man's Man's Man's World" prize - has once again demonstrated the level of sensitivity and equality that make the remote island a prime spot for all-male drumming circles, "Iron John" fan club meetings and group rate wife beater conventions/getaway weekends.
It was only a couple of years ago that the Aussie sporting powers-that-be dressed up the Olympic women's basketball team in tight-fitting catsuits. Now these same powers have produced a nude calendar featuring members of the Australian national women's soccer team, playfully nicknamed "the Matildas."
The calendar features "tasteful" photos, according to Australian Women's Soccer Association president Shirley Brown, who also admitted that women's sport is "still considered second rate in Australia."
Some of the tasteful photos in the calendar include full-frontal nudity with two teammates posing together in a manner suggesting mild lesbian ticklefests are just around the next corner. "I'm really proud of the photos," said Matildas' player Alicia Ferguson.
Unsurprisingly, experts estimate that only 11 people - all female - in Australia find the calendar to be in poor taste.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
